Unlike the Alonso and Gerrard clip from earlier today, this one could be all too real for it's victim. Click to continue reading...

This is definitely the best one so far. I can't place the actress...wasn't she on MadTv or something? Click to continue reading...

Immature? Yes. Still funny? Absolutely. Click to continue reading...

I never fancied Wallace for a Preston North End fan. I always suspected him a Yeovil Town supporter. I always loved this cartoon. Click to continue reading...

I thought about getting GolTV again when Jozy got picked up by Villarreal but decided against it. And since he's not getting any playing time I'm OK with that decision. But now that they have picked up John Cleese's The Art of Football for the U.S. market I just might break down and get it. Click to continue reading...

Business up front, party in the back; Argies live by the mullet's raison d'etre. Click to continue reading...

You hear that Guzan? In the near future you will not only be called on to stop shots, but prevent the furthering of Anti-American sentiment in Latin America and elsewhere. Hope you picked up some Spanish at Chivas USA cabrón. Click to continue reading...

From the most serious sports news network ever:

NEW YORK, NY — In a unique gesture, the members of the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association of America took out a full page ad in the sports section of USA Today, apologizing for "forgetting about David Beckham."

Last week, after being contacted by MLS commissioner Don Garber, the NSSA had a startling realization - they had collectively forgotten Beckham was in America and playing soccer.

Click to continue reading...

So a few days ago I was on some other sh*t about how US fans of the beautiful game rarely get to see much of their country men playing abroad outside of the EPL. Even one of the "biggest" US soccer stars ever, Freddy Adu, is playing in something close to a Witness Protection League. That is when he plays. Click to continue reading...

"You're talking about radically altering how the game of soccer is played all over the world. It would suddenly become a contact sport, and I – as a skinny, weak Russian hockey player – don't appreciate the contact."

This was Washington Capital and Russian hockey legend Sergei Fedorov speaking about a possible MLS ruling that would virtually eliminate diving from the league, and fears of it's ripple effect around the world are making some in the hockey world very nervous. Click to continue reading...

Remember when Clint Mathis was the coolest man in soccer? He had a Mohawk, a club in his basement and was just the dude overall. Shit, he even talked cool with a sweet, laid back southern delivery. This was back in 2002...before the German debacle, weight gain & hair loss.

He was so cool that he was even on The Daily Show, where he was one of the only guests I've ever seen turn the tables and make Jon Stewart laugh uncomfortably; apparently Mathis is in possession of photo of the former college soccer star in shorts that can only be described as "plumb smugglers". Click to continue reading...

Sure Ronnie O'Brien has recently departed, but even though this is outdated by 24 hours (an absolute eternity in blog years) this bit is hil-arious. Remember: lumberjacks = sons of bitches. Click to continue reading...

According to twin funny-fucks Randy & Jason Sklar, Freddy Adu looks like an accountant. An immature accountant who should be "farting in the orange slices". And I thought I was harsh on The Biggest Midget in the Game™.

The clip above is an excerpt from their NEXT special on ESPN which is now showing pretty regularly. Click to continue reading...

DC United will unveil their latest foreign friend, midfielder Marcelo Gallardo today at The National Press Club. This comes on the heals of yesterday's unveiling of four other South American signings for United; Argentine central defender Gonzalo Peralta, 27, and Peruvian goalkeeper Jose Carvallo, 21, along with forward Franco Niell and defender Gonzalo Martínez. Click to continue reading...

Courtesy of the OZ City blog. Props to Hough for pointing it out. Click to continue reading...

As fun as the Superdraft was for me and as important as it is for the teams, I think it's time we all admit that no one really knows as much about college soccer as they try to project. And when I say "no one" I mean the fans don't, the coaching staffs don't and the sportswriters don't. But that's OK because judging by their post-selection interviews none of the draftees know much about MLS so we're all square. Click to continue reading...

With big-time keeper Joe Cannon shipped out for small-time compensation, and Clint Mathis signed for no reason other than being trade bait I seems like some fans of the Carson & Anschutz Greatest Show on Turf ™ aren't too pleased with ringmaster Alexi Lalas. I received this image from one reader who chose to remain anonymous, but is probably not the sole holder of this opinion. Click to continue reading...

Long-running UK footie show Soccer AM has been running these send-ups of American commentators for years called Boston Goals. It's one of the funniest soccer things I've ever seen and just like a good MILF, the have aged quite nicely.

Since I know some people haven't seen this one before I'm going to post it again (it was up ages ago but Sky Network got all stroppy about it and had it removed from Youtube). Click to continue reading...

I love animals, I really do. My cat is one so I'm pretty familiar with them. And in college I worked as a vet tech so I've also had experience with things other than cats like small, annoying, yippee dogs. You know the type....the ones that no one except their owners like. The type you hate but the type that you would love to one-time into the next county whenever it tries to dry hump your leg. Click to continue reading...

See, this is why you have to love Drew Carey owning an MLS club. Do you think for one second that if Oprah was in on the Seattle job that he would rig a skit on his show to suit his own agenda? Absolutely not, she's got far too much integrity for that (she'd just put it on her list of favorite things and make millions for someone else). Click to continue reading...

Everybody loves cartoons. Especially ultra-topical, celebrity-baiting footie themed ones done by Al Gore's Current TV. It's no Family Guy but it's still pretty funny stuff, especially the Larry King appearance and the promise that America will start caring if they promise to release a sex tape. Click to continue reading...

The off season is soooooooooo boring. There is nothing going on but the rent until the January transfer window, the odd coaching change aside. What is a man to do to keep himself entertained during the long cold winter? Have a laugh at Taylor Twellman's expense.

I don't think regular updates on what TT might be doing to numb the pain of repeated defeat while on the doorstep to victory is the most entertaining thing, but hey it beats me becoming an MISL junkie. Click to continue reading...