Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has revealed the Gunners face much stiffer competition to qualify for the Champions League this season following the emergence of moneybags Manchester City. The Gunners as part of the Premier League's reported big-four have never struggled to gain entry into Europe's premier club competition in recent years. Click to continue reading...

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has revealed the Gunners face much stiffer competition to qualify for the Champions League this season following the emergence of moneybags Manchester City. The Gunners as part of the Premier League's reported big-four have never struggled to gain entry into Europe's premier club competition in recent years. Click to continue reading...

If press reports are to be believed, we could be on the brink of a new era in football spending that will make Abramovich's Chelsea look positively frugal. I am of course referring to the takeover of Manchester City on Monday by an Arab consortium estimated to be worth around £650billion.

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Sky Sports News through the night.

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There is currently quite a big to-do in the press about Liverpool's former-captain-turned-substitute Steven Gerrard spending lots of wonga on adding what appears to be a gymnasium complex onto his £2million mansion in the Northern suburb/slum of Freshfield. Ever the wits, The Daily Facist xenophobically questioned whether any of those pesky asylum seekers were being hidden away in it. Click to continue reading...

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It's QPR at Swindon tonight where, hopefully, QPR will win. I think tonight will be the night, but this being QPR, who really can be confident?! The concept of QPR as "Moneybags" or "the richest team in the world" or "The Chelsea of the Championship" (as Swindon's Billy Paynter called QPR)is not something QPR can want; and it's not really fair or accurate; but unfortunately it's inevitably going to be a common refrain as long as QPR have Briatore and Ecclestone and Mittal and are not in the Premiership. Click to continue reading...

There are very few more obvious statements you can make about football these days than ‘the players get paid too much.' When painfully average Championship level bench-warmers get paid more in a month than 90% of the population earn in a year, you know something is wrong with the country. Anyway, soap-boxing aside, according to The Observer we are on the brink of passing yet another wage mile-stone, with reports leaking out of West London that Chelsea are prepared to offer Brazilian divinity Kaka' the princely sum of £1million-a-month to join them from AC Milan. Click to continue reading...

There was shock today in Zurich as representatives of Chelsea's moneybags owner and Siberian orphan seller, Roman Abramovich, announced his intention to bid for EURO 2016.
It is believed that the bid involves buying the tournament lock, stock and barrel, allowing Abramovich to rename it 'Roman's Euro kickabout 2016', introduce compulsory oversized animal costumes for players and replace sendings off with summary executions, the method of which will be voted on by TV viewers via the red button. Click to continue reading...

These days it is not uncommon for a player to sell his potential, along with any personal ambition, for a huge wage and a spot on the bench. Look at Steve Sidwell; outstanding last season at Reading, but after a year of doing literally nothing at Chelsea for twice the money, his career's basically over already. Click to continue reading...

Not in fact some enthusiastic Roadwarrior fans enjoying weekend sun, but four of Chelsea's stars trying out some of their latest flashy toys. Here we can see JT, Joe Cole, Steve Sidwell and Ashley Cole heading home from training in leafy Surrey via the pub.

Perhaps the least threatening gang in the world, dressed in trendy flip-flops, polo tops and shorts, sped to a sunny beer garden near Cobham and reportedly necked twnety pints each of strong lime cordial each before heading home to knock their wives/girlfriends about.

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Reports coming from that most reliable source, the Sunday People, suggest that Flavio Briatore is trying to persuade Zinidine Zidane to become QPR's new manager. These revelations come on the heels of a schizophrenic season, with QPR flirting with relegation early on, before pulling some decent results out and finishing in the relative comfort of lower mid table mediocrity. Click to continue reading...

This guy Thaksin Shinawatra is a bit of a slippery customer to say the least. Surely being ousted as the President of Thailand by a military coup was a bit of a red flag to all Manchester City fans that he perhaps doesn't fly straight, but recent talk now suggest that he's completely lost the plot at Eastlands. Click to continue reading...

This week has seen the publication of two very important annual lists: one sexy, and the other not so much really. Unfortunately for you though, it's difficult to really weave a football-related story around the FHM100 Sexiest Women (trust me; I only got about 30 words in over an hour) so you'll have to just check it out for yourself without our usually insightful commentary. Click to continue reading...

Watching that enjoyably lobotomised MTV show My Super Sweet 16 I've always thought it must be ace to have really rich and famous parents. It's carte-blanche to behave like a complete prick the whole time, because, you know, they were never there for you, and they, like, totally don't understand how cruel life can be when you pull into school in your '08 Range Rover Sport only to see Sarah Jessica Parker's cousin parking the new Hummer H3. Click to continue reading...

Ok stop me when this starts to sound familiar: exotic quasi-European accent; villainous scheme for world domination stemming from humble beginnings; a plot to kill those who get in his way; exquisitely neat facial hair; a string of nameless scantily-clad beauties; numerous extortion attempts and the stealing of secrets or technology; luxurious mobile lair. Click to continue reading...

Since joining Chelsea in June 2003, for better or for worse, Roman Abramovich has changed the Premier League. He brought in hot cutting-edge talent and a prodigal manager to marshal them, but despite the seemingly endless supply of money, still the Champions League crown eludes him. Figures released today showed that in the 4 and a half years Abramovich has been at the helm, he has spent a frankly staggering £578million trying to make Chelsea the biggest club in Europe, which works out at an inconceivable £204,931 a day and even £8,539 per hour. Click to continue reading...