So at last we've come to the end of the 30-game regular season, and it's time to review the stats and dish the statues celebrating achievement or lack thereof in MLS 2008. Without further ado . . . The Wilt Chamberlain Award for Promiscuity goes to . . . The Los Angeles Galaxy! Let's face it, when they weren't scoring, they were being scored upon. Click to continue reading...

Not much change in the table this week, eh? DC and Colorado climb a rung on the ladder and stay alive, while Dallas drop two to join the cast of snot-nosed street urchins staring through clouded glass at the warm and rosy picture of those still in the playoff hunt. So let's start with a quick dash through the numbers before wrapping up with an overview of the aforementioned playoff picture. Click to continue reading...

The Crew have clinched. Everybody's still alive in the playoff hunt. KC took one giant step forwards, while the Rapids are struggling to pull their boots free of the mire. I don't remember a playoff race this exciting, wide-open, or topsy turvy, can you? So let's break the race down a bit. What do we know so far? Click to continue reading...

What the hell? Just a few short weeks ago we were looking at the East potentially having six playoff sides to the West's two (if MLS rules would have allowed such a thing to happen). Then Chivas made a run and the field tilted towards a 5/3 split in favor of the East (which is allowed, of course). Click to continue reading...

Well then. I suppose nothing says "give us the damn Supporters' Shield already" like stuffing the side right behind you and opening an eight point lead with just four games to go. All the Crew need to do now is avoid getting complacent before the playoffs kick off. Behind them, Chivas USA are making a sudden push to join the three team trailing pack consisting of the Revs, Fire, and Dynamo. Click to continue reading...

Well, well, well, looks like the points-per-game nonsense isn't quite finished after all. The postponement of the Houston-San Jose clash leaves us with two teams sitting a game back for the next few weeks. Regardless, we'll plunge right ahead with the table analysis, tossing in PPG hand-waving if and when it becomes appropriate. Click to continue reading...

Six games to play and still no definite answers--vive la parité! Let's do a quick rundown of the table thus far. New England pulls back two points on Columbus, closing the gap to three points at the top. Chicago and Houston both fumble their chances to make up ground and will be hoping for further stumbles from the Crew to let them back into the chase. Click to continue reading...

Welcome back. So here we are with less than a quarter of the season to go, and still very little has been decided. Say what you will about the dreaded Parity Pox, but you've got to admit that it sure makes for a more entertaining spectacle than a league where you know that one of 4-5 teams is going to win the league, and do so in relative comfort compared to the rest of the field. Click to continue reading...

For the second week running, the MLS table is nice and neat, with everybody level on 22 games. The Crew surge past the Revs to grab a narrow 2-point lead in the race for the Supporters' Shield. Three back of the Revs sit Chicago and the West-leading Dynamo. United and the Red Bulls (the current holders of the "at large" playoff bids) are level on 32, and RSL looks to be in a fairly solid 2nd Click to continue reading...

At long last, the planets have aligned in the heavens and the entire league has played the same number of games, obviating the need for that oh-so tedious points-per-game discussion. We've got a clear look at where things stand without notional results and imaginary runs of form. So how do things shape up as we round the bend into the 9-game home stretch? Click to continue reading...

It's that time again--time to confront the almighty train-wreck that is the Major League Soccer table. Rather than stratifying as the season progresses, the dreaded specter of parity seems to be condensing everything into a giant ectoplasmic ooze. While it's true that 13 points separate first from worst, it's also true that no team has more than a three point lead over the team directly Click to continue reading...

We're on the cusp of the final third of the Major League Soccer regular season--the time the teams that are going to make some post-season noise start to round into form. The question is going to be: will anybody make a bold move away from the pack to claim the Supporters' Shield definitively? Or will it be another race to the wire? Click to continue reading...

If some of that movement (Dallas +7, Chivas -5) looks a little extreme, it's because I lost a week of doing the Table Talk due to vacation, so the numbers account for positional shifts over the last two weeks. Still, the scrum in the middle continues to look like the center circle at an under-6 game, with everybody packed into a telephone-booth-sized patch of grass around the ball. Click to continue reading...

With the DC v. Houston MLS match taking place Tuesday night, I'm going to delay the MLS Dogpile and MLS Table Talk columns until after we know that result. This is not only to take advantage of getting some action from teams who haven't been participating in MLS of late, but because the All Star game represents a natural break (though I'm sure some would argue about how "natural" such a game Click to continue reading...

Our weekly gander at the combined MLS table reveals that, much like any other week, more than half of the teams in the league are within two points of each other, a recipe for potentially massive change. In fact, this weekend's results, combined with SuperLiga enforced byes, led to some almighty jumps (Chicago up four places, RSL up five! Click to continue reading...

Well, things should certainly get interesting as SuperLiga throws its SuperHat in the SuperRing to create a SuperMess of the table over the next few weeks. Multi-competition madness aside, let's take a look at the state the table finds itself in this week. The Revs remain well clear of their pursuers, though the Crew have the games in hand to catch them. Click to continue reading...

After a few weeks where it looked like the West had successfully scaled the table and broken up the East's dominance, this week's edition confirms that things are back to normal in Tabletown. And that's to the severe detriment of the Red Bulls. Despite sitting 7th overall, they also happen to be 6th in the East. Click to continue reading...

Well, well, well . . . not much going on at the top and bottom, but it's all shifting about quite dramatically in the middle. The top four maintain their lead, even if none of them managed a victory this weekend, but it's a real mess behind them, as only three points separate 5th from 12th, and four teams are clustered on 19 points. Click to continue reading...

What an almighty mess! Just look at that 7-club pileup around the playoff Mason-Dixon line for evidence of the terrible paw of parity taking its mandatory swipe at the table. Only three points--a one game swing--separate Houston in 6th from Chivas in 14th. While the Revs struggle to detach themselves at the top of the table, and Columbus try to reel them back in, the expansion Quakes are Click to continue reading...

The MLS table is a bit like an accordion, isn't it? Stretch it out, compress it, and along the way you get some music--sometimes annoying, sometimes entertaining, and the dancing monkeys really sell the deal . . . um, yeah, stretched metaphor, eh? Regardless, take a look at that congestion. New England has opened a four-point gap, but there are only two points separating the next five sides, Click to continue reading...

The Revs edge out in front despite only adding a point this week, but the Fire have two games in hand, and Columbus has one as well. The leading trio is being reeled back in by the rest of the league as TFC and the Rapids close the gap, and the three other Western Conference playoff sides are hot on their heels. Click to continue reading...

Tablequake! The table is topsy-turvy this week, with everybody bouncing about save for (oh, the irony!) the Quakes, stuck fast at the bottom despite their big win over their former selves this week. A look at the combined table shows that the trio at the top (Fire, Crew, Revs--all still from the East) continues to maintain a gap over the rest of the league. Click to continue reading...

There seems to be a bit of condensation in the air--well, in the MLS table at least. The Revs join the Crew and Fire in the lead pack with a four point lead over . . . the big pileup involving 7 teams separated by just three points, though I'd extend that to include Chivas and RSL, who are only one point back of that 7-team pack but two at least two points ahead of . Click to continue reading...

No, your eyes do not deceive you--that is a great big gaping wound in the middle of the playoff sides up there. KC is #6 in the table, but in anticipation, perhaps, of the West's mighty suckitude and the likelihood of the Los Angeles Beckhams (ahem! excuse me) . . . the Los Angeles Galaxy finishing 3rd in said pile of donkey pooh, MLS revamped the playoff rules (again) to allow the top three Click to continue reading...

Not much movement on the table this week, and things remain pretty well condensed. The Crew and Fire have created a bit of a gap at the top, but below them, half of the league is separated by only two points. In the points-per-game table, the leading duo's advantage is crystal clear, with both clubs on the plus side of 2. Click to continue reading...

So the Crew are in first place, the Galaxy are clinging to a playoff spot, and DC, Chivas, and Houston are all on the outside looking in? Rrriiiiighhhht. Uh, somebody wake me up now, this isn't really happening, is it? Strange doings in the MLS table as mighty Columbus (um, can those two words be used in succession in a non-ironic sense? Click to continue reading...

Well, this is probably about three weeks too early to have a serious go at some Table Talkin', but I just thought I'd point out some items of interest in the MLS table thus far. (1) Your points-per-game leaders are . . . (duh-duh-duh-DUNNNN!), the freakin' Hard Hats? Wow, Sigi for the win, eh? And languishing at the bottom in a tie for futility are United and the Dynamo. Click to continue reading...

At last we've reached the final waypoint on our journey through the 2007 regular season. Here we pause as five sides wave goodbye to the departing ship of their MLS Cup dreams. Goodbye Landon, ciao Becks, au revoir Pablo--enjoy the long night of your vacations and try not to be too bitter that you couldn't qualify for a playoff structure that allows more than half of the clubs (62%) to make Click to continue reading...

Table Talk Updates

So here's your updated table going into the final weekend of the MLS regular season. MLS HQ must be doing backflips that 4 of this weekend's 6 matches will carry playoff implications. Kevin Stott did his best to keep the Beckspiracy alive, with Angel contributing his fair share of missed chances as well. Stott did show pretty good judgement in ditching the "reject from a 'Grease' casting call" look that he had been sporting for most of the season, and though he did seem to be tilting the field in LA's favor, I'm not as convinced as the sages in the ESPN booth that the Bulls' penalty claim was that much of a certainty. Click to continue reading...

Just one week remaining in the the 2007 regular season, and MLS HQ--while they'll be disappointed that the Supporters' Shield race didn't come down to the last weekend--must be high-fiving each other in the halls. Four clubs are still duking it out for two playoff spots and the West will come down to a decisive final match. Let's take a look at our usual assortment of stats--ignoring points per game, as it's not particularly relevant now that almost everyone is on the same number of games--and then break down the playoff picture. Click to continue reading...

MLS Table Talk will be delayed this week owing to the RSL-Dynamo match tonight. Never fear, faithful readers, I'll have the column up as soon as the caffeine kicks in and my clouded eyes clear tomorrow morning! Or maybe I'll even have it up this evening should the dreaded specter of insomnia raise its ugly head. Click to continue reading...

The two big questions remaining in the MLS regular season have yet to be decided, but we're getting closer to a day of reckoning. The Revs and Dynamo can still harbor faint ambitions for the Eastern and Western Conference crowns, but both would need some major results-voodoo to catch Chivas and DC United as the top two gun it out for the Supporters' Shield. Click to continue reading...

In an unlikely turn of events, the LA Galaxy have somehow managed to resurrect what seemed to be a lost season to set up the "Hollywood" ending of Becks returning from injury just in time for a push into the playoffs. What was once a three team scrum for the final playoff spot has expanded into a five team melee for two spots as the Wiz slide inexorably backward, the Gals, aided by their games in hand, surge up the table, and the Fire, Crew, and Rapids hold steady. Click to continue reading...

Lots of shifts at the top and bottom this week, while the mid-table block holds steady. It's down to a four horse race for the Supporters' Shield as Dallas' meager take of one point from six available virtually eliminates them from serious contention. At the bottom, Toronto sink to their inevitable spot in the cellar as LA vault over them on goal difference. Click to continue reading...

They're Baa-aack! Not that they ever broke up that much, but the strata are back in a big way in this week's table, which bears a disturbing resemblance to a core sample. At the bottom, the three team base is packed into a four-point range, supporting the three battlers for the final playoff spot in a two-point pickle, the three playoff-bound but pretty much out of the Supporters' Shield race clubs stuffed into a three point calzone, and DC United as the thin, flaky crust atop a three team title-contender pie separated by just one point. Click to continue reading...