To those who spout cliches that football is a funny old game or that there are no easy games in international soccer, have a look at some of the results in the early stages of European qualifying for the 2010 World Cup. Obviously, the easiest game was England away to FIFA fifth-ranked team Croatia. Click to continue reading...

Well, shall we get some of the cliches out of the way first?  Right, let's see now, It's a funny old game!  A week is a long time in football, you get the picture.  I'm sure I could go on and no doubt you've thought of a few yourself. But I am right, a week is [...] Click to continue reading...

Lord. It's exhausting just to read about all Liverpool had to do to survive Standard Liege today. So that makes four outings for the Reds so far, and four pretty dismal performances. Still, four good results. A funny old game, etc. Click to continue reading...

As its been said many times "football is a funny old game". So now we have David Bentley moving to Spurs with money raised from the sale of Robbie Keane to Liverpool. At the same time we also have Tottenham with 2 highly rated young right midfield / wings in David Bentley and Aaron Lennon, but needing another forward to replace Keane and/or possibly Berbatov, and at Liverpool we have 3 quality forwards in Torres, Kuyt, and Keane, but needing a right midfield / wing of a higher quality then what they currently have. Click to continue reading...

I got asked this question this morning. Why is David Beckham playing for the MLS All-Stars against West Ham tonight? Well.... my answer started, "Because he plays for LA Galaxy in the MLS."
What else could I to say?
Yep Beckham is due to play against West Ham. Click to continue reading...

Suppose you haven't see the France-Holland game. Now, construct a scenario in which France is hammered 4-1 in a major competition with their best side available in a game they were determined to win. For a team that was in the World Cup final two years ago, it's hard to Click to continue reading...

I believe I went on record with the idea that last night's US Open Cup fixture between the Portland Timbers and Hollywood United, an amateur team owned by a bunch of LA celebs which has featured Ziggy Marley and Vinnie Jones in its line-ups in the past (at the same time?), would be "funny" or something like that. Click to continue reading...

"Sometimes on a day off I go to the doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game and it's like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars - it's like a disco!"... Click to continue reading...

Bundesliga 'keeper takes one to the face Borussia Dortmund's Alex Frei hits the bar with a free-kick; Fernandez does the rest. Via FANartisch... Click to continue reading...

Where footballers are stopped in their tracks by a good tackle... Click to continue reading...

This 3rd Eye clip from Soccer AM show Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor doing a high energy pre-match dance routine. He seems to be enjoying himself anyway! Click to continue reading...

Leeds United Ladies' Steph Houghton saved this woeful throw-in for the Women's FA Cup final, the pinnacle of the women's game in this country. Talk about picking your moments. Click to continue reading...

There were bizarre scenes in Spain last night as players from relegated Levante refused to start the match in a protest over unpaid wages. The players stood huddled around the centre-circle as if they were observing a minute's silence as Deportivo La Coruna kicked off the match. Deportivo unsurprisingly found themselves with an immediate opportunity to take the lead, but sportingly put the ball out of play for a goal-kick. Click to continue reading...

This sketch shows Ray Stubbs getting irate as comedian Omid Djalili commentates on a park kickabout featuring his nephew. Click to continue reading...

For those who like to set up camp in the opposition half... Bayern Munich pair Lukas Podolski and Luca Toni look like they are having fun here. The bouquet-wielding duo appear just moments away from a full blown game of kiss chase. And is the German international stealing a sneaky tickle of his Italian team-mate? Click to continue reading...

When we told you about Kevin Keegan's love affair with Alan Curbishley the other day, we thought King Kev only had eyes for one man. Not so. A hilarious post over at The Spoiler proves that KK has a bit of a fetish for touching faces. Yes, opposition managers beware - Keegan is on the prowl and he can't wait to get his mitts on your cheeks. Click to continue reading...

City fans defend their beloved Sven 'We don't need no Phil Scolari, We don't need Mourinho Hey, Thaksin, leave our Sven alone!' Absolutely inspired.... Click to continue reading...

When it's a bowling ball, of course. It is an easy mistake to make as this advert for an opticians shows. Click to continue reading...

If this was based on waistline alone, the answer would be a resounding yes. But no, we are talking social networking and Myspace. There is a Tom Huddlestone MySpace, which not only features links to Pies' videos of Huddlestone, but even includes our One to Watch profile of him! Click to continue reading...

Sometimes as a defender you have to acknowledge that you were beaten by a better, quicker and younger player and be gracious in defeat. Alternatively, you could simply tug the player back by his genitals. Rooney never takes his eye of his balls. Prostitute Charlotte Glover once told the Sunday Mirror that her twin sister was "starstruck with Wayne and asked if she could touch his willy, so that she could say she had held Rooney's manhood". Click to continue reading...

Remember we told you about Ronaldo's brush with transvestite prostitutes? You must remember. If you can't, remember when The Sun told you about it then go back 24 hours before that. Now you remember. Anyway, the main developments since then have been Ronaldo's fantastic quote: "There were no sexual relations because the moment I discovered they were transvestites I ended the whole thing. Click to continue reading...

Don't ask us why he's wearing a swimming cap... Who ate all the pies? This gutted Leicester City fan, by the look of him. And all the pasties, crisps and biscuits too. [Spotted on The Offside] Photo Getty Images... Click to continue reading...

For those who like to hold and give, and get round the back... Liverpool's dynamic midfield duo of Xabi Alonso and Steven Gerrard enjoy a game of tonsil tennis. I guess you never know what sort of urges winning a European Cup will bring out until you have experienced it yourself. Click to continue reading...

Arsenal star plays keepy-up whilst ablaze! Does Arsene Wenger know that his most valuable player is getting up to such antics away from the Emirates? Cesc will do anything to promote his TV show for his Nike paymasters. But is... Click to continue reading...

Pies celebrates the homoerotic side of the beautiful game What a lovely couple they make, in their matching tight t-shirts! And just how close must Vieri's penis be to Maldini's sculpted gluteus maximus? Christian, in particular, looks smitten. If you... Click to continue reading...

We have a new contender for our top comedy penalty misses. First of all, the penalty taker makes Gareth Southgate look positively clinical with his weak effort. Then as he attempts to do better with the rebound, he suddenly finds himself eating goalpost. Click to continue reading...

I'm about to go off and vote in the London mayoral elections. Before doing so, I had to rewatch this classic clip, just to remind myself not to accidentall vote an ex-Eton buffoon into power. There, that's quite enough... Click to continue reading...

Well, as close to official as you can get when the source is the Daily Star! Apparently, Match of the Day presenter and former England star Gary Lineker is being lined up to play the role of Dumbo by a top American photographer. The famously jug-eared forward is wanted by snapper Annie Leibovitz to play a key role in her Disney Dream Portrait Series. Click to continue reading...

What's this? Is Kevin Keegan Head Over Heels In Love? It sure looks that way as he grasps Alan Curbishley by the head and looks longingly into his eyes. I'm not sure Curbs is quite up for it as much, but he looks pleasantly surprised by the offer. Click to continue reading...

This must be a Uefa ploy to get more American fans to watch the Champions League. Look, they have started incorporating American sports into the 'soccer'. Avram Grant brought a bit of basketball to last night's proceedings, and Steven Gerrard responded with a little bit of American football. Click to continue reading...

The cheeky young scamp. You should respect your elders. Don't you know he's got an MBE? Shame on you. This young Chelsea fan pretends he wants to shake hands with the Liverpool skipper, but has no intention of going through with it... Click to continue reading...

Crazed commentator Ray Hudson got overexcited even by his standards when Real Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas (his favourite man in the whole wide world) saves a penalty from Athletic Bilbao's Joseba Garmendia. Given that Garmendia looks like he is about to have a nervous breakdown before taking the kick he was never likely to score really. Click to continue reading...

Crazed commentator Ray Hudson got overexcited even by his standards when Real Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas (his favourite man in the whole wide world) saves a penalty from Athletic Bilbao's Joseba Garmendia. Given that Garmendia looks like he is about to have a nervous breakdown before taking the kick he was never likely to score really. Click to continue reading...

Fool Noun. A silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense. 10. Ashley Cole Hmm, would you cheat on the girl on the left with the girl on the right? Me neither.... Click to continue reading...

Brazilian coach Wanderly (or Vanderlei) Luxemburgo loves nothing better than to chomp on a tasty fly. In fact the Palmeiras coach munched his way through one of his favourite insects during a recent interview. Here is the ex-Real Madrid boss eating a fly. Click to continue reading...