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October 28, 2008

"The English Jesús Gil"

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It would, of course, take the Guardian's La Liga correspondent to begin questioning Daniel Levy's tenure at Tottenham. Click to continue reading...

October 26, 2008

Liverpool End Chelsea's 400,000,000-Year-Old Unbeaten Record at Stamford Bridge

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Not since the squirming, slippery ancestors of the creatures who would one day be football agents first hauled themselves out of the sea have Chelsea lost a match at Stamford Bridge. Not until today, when Liverpool took advantage of a random deflection in the box to sneak out of London with a 1-0 win. Click to continue reading...

Daniel Levy Does What He Does Best

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That is, writes a desperate, face-saving open letter to Spurs fans on the heels of a botched eleventh-hour manager swap. I like to imagine the story of Daniel Levy at this point as the saga of a man who wanted to do the right thing and resign from his position, but found he simply couldn't [...] Click to continue reading...

October 25, 2008

Harry Redknapp Is the New Manager of Tottenham Hotspur

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There aren't enough exclamation points in the keyboard for this, so here's the dry report. Juande Ramos is out at Tottenham, and according to the Guardian as well as several other sources Harry Redknapp has agreed to replace him. The Tottenham website, cautious instrument that it is, admits only to holding talks. Click to continue reading...

October 23, 2008

If You Are Having Trouble Seeing The Run of Play in Your Web Browser

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Then this message probably won't reach you, but hey, any excuse to break out the "catastrophic technical failure" tag. Here's what's happening. Apparently my web host decided to make some changes late last night without warning anyone, and this morning many people (including me) found themselves unable to access the site. Click to continue reading...

October 22, 2008

Harry Redknapp Transcends the Physical Plane and Becomes His Own Language

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Harry Redknapp is many things: husband, father, manager, cup winner, crime fighter, master of the skies. It's always been the case I've struggled with it repeatedly on this blog that the concepts he represents are too large to encode in standard English. But today, that may be changing, as Portsmouth have embarked on an ambitious language-education program [. Click to continue reading...

October 21, 2008

Darren Farley Impersonates Liverpool, Special K Looks On

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This basically speaks for itself...and also for Rafa Benitez, Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, Michael Owen, and Peter Crouch. Somehow the fact that Farley's amazing act of spiritual mediumship takes place in the cereal aisle of a corner grocery shop only enhances the overall effect. [via The Game] Click to continue reading...

October 20, 2008

You Can't Mention Juande Ramos Without Mentioning Daniel Levy

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Spurs fans get it. And yet I've read two dozen articles and blog posts about Ramos's job security in the 24 hours since Tottenham's loss to Stoke, and only a couple of them have paid any attention to Levy. A few more have dropped in a line or two about Comolli, while a good half [...] Click to continue reading...

October 19, 2008

Daniel Levy Does Not Own Tottenham Hotspur

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You could be forgiven for thinking otherwise, given the media's fixation on what his next move will be during the ongoing Spurs meltdown, but Daniel Levy is merely the director, and not the owner, of English National Investment Company plc, the holding company that controls 82% of Tottenham Hotspur. Click to continue reading...

October 16, 2008

The Proud Legacy of MLS Goes Down in a Swirl of Over-the-Counter Nutritional Supplements

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Let's get this out of the way. 1) The greatest disgrace of all is the lack of Red Bull jokes in the early coverage of this over-the-counter-drug-fueled horror dream. Seriously, not one "...were they caught drinking Red Bull?" Ives? Offside? Anybody? 2) Bloggers, a pact. Let us have Red Bull jokes. Click to continue reading...

October 14, 2008

Guest Post: A Night in Port-of-Spain

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Today's guest blogger, Andrew Sartorius, is a senior at The Pingry School in Martinsville, NJ. He is an avid New York Red Bulls fan and plays left midfield on his high school team. There's something masochistic about watching a bad soccer match. It takes a certain type of fan to endure the moments of sheer boredom [. Click to continue reading...

The Tuesday Portrait: Inner Life of Andrei Arshavin

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[Visit the post to hear the audio track.] Click to continue reading...

October 10, 2008

What Everyone Knows About Newcastle

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Oh! H-hello. I didn't see you there. I've been sitting here in the d-dark, thinking about selling N-newcastle. Would you like to b-buy Newcastle? Do you have three hundred million p-pounds? Man, I am so d-drunk right now. What h-happened to those Africans? There were some Africans here who had three hundred million p-pounds. Click to continue reading...

What Everyone Knows About Tottenham

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Taking a quick glance down the towering inferno of the Barclays Premier League table, I see clubs with crippling debts, clubs with feuding owners, clubs with outraged fans, clubs with moldering Victorian stadiums that they can't afford to replace, clubs with unhappy players, clubs with imploding sponsors, clubs hanging by a thread over the chasm [. Click to continue reading...

October 8, 2008

The FIFA World Rankings: A Global Return to Reason

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The new FIFA World Rankings are out, and I think they might be just what the world needs to take its mind off the fact that "money" is apparently no longer a good idea. Take America, for instance. Yesterday, this country was hurting. A man walking down the street wore the tight-mouthed, care-eaten look of [. Click to continue reading...

Could Google Change the Very Name of Football?

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If you search it for the word "football," Google returns results that are dominated by NFL sites. If you search it for specific football topics football tactics, say, or economics Google returns results that jumble American and world football together. This is pure speculation, but since searching for "soccer" doesn't produce that kind of confusion, I wonder [. Click to continue reading...

October 7, 2008

The Tuesday Portrait: Kaka

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Start with his motile, princessy, yielding and absolute face, which is never only itself, but always itself smiling, itself sulking, itself exulting, itself wincing, itself coming apart in some goofy expression of praise. Look at the strange lacquer of serenity that shines on him, that mutes his nervous vitality and creates the odd illusion that everything [. Click to continue reading...

October 6, 2008

Why I Went to Prison, and Other Things I Blame on Landon Donovan

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Thanks to everyone who wrote in last week to say things like, "I'm sorry you went to prison", "Why did you go to prison?", and "You're a disgrace to this country, you greasy freeloading scofflaw." Actually, only one person sent in that last one, and my mom and I have had some productive talks since [. Click to continue reading...

October 5, 2008

Ibrahimović's Startling Goal for Inter

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I still don't understand how this works or how it happened or what bizarre experiments have to be performed on a human body to make it bend this way, but here it is: Ibrahimović's shocking goal in Inter's 2-1 win against Bologna today, a first-time, backward, back-heel roundhouse kick with his back to the goal [. Click to continue reading...

Peter Crouch Scores a Brilliant Overhead Kick

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From Portsmouth's 2-1 win over Stoke City today: the marking was not what you'd call "tight" or...um..."marking", but still, seeing Peter Crouch score from an overhead kick is like watching Niagara Falls run upward. Terrified 1950s honeymooners run screaming, trying to put as much distance as they can between themselves and the monstrosity. Click to continue reading...

Kim Jong Il Triumphs Over Death, Hits College Soccer Game

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According to completely unsubstantiated reports in North Korea's entirely state-controlled media, supposedly gravely ill dictator Kim Jong Il has emerged from his cocoon of secrecy in order to attend...a soccer game. No one knows what soccer game, except that it was purportedly played to celebrate the 62nd anniversary of the founding of Kim Il Sung University, [. Click to continue reading...

October 3, 2008

Towards Getting That Reform That Is Needed

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We're a team of mavericks over here at The Run of Play, which is why, doggone it, games we like to watch, and just the passion we have for the blessing to be enjoying of these players we've got out here. Again, good fortune. It's an honor and a privilege to know this opportunity of [. Click to continue reading...

I Don't Care That Joe Kinnear Said "F*ck"

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I don't care about this. I don't care that Joe Kinnear said "fuck" fifty times in a press conference. I guess it clears the bar for a stupid internet sensation that an angry man said swear words, and I like imagining the world's football writers all looking up from whatever they were doing at the [. Click to continue reading...

October 2, 2008

I Have No Quarrel with Petr ÄŒech's Guide to the Czech Republic

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It's been the firm conclusion of our very occasional series on footballers' websites that, of all players, goalkeepers have the friendliest and most welcoming approach to presenting themselves online. Maybe this is because their professional lives are largely based around not being welcoming, or maybe it's just that strikers gobbled up the most merciless and [. Click to continue reading...

David Davies Pointlessly Shakes the Very Foundations of FIFA

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David Davies, a former executive director of the FA, is in the press today with a bombshell claim that England were offered votes for cash during their failed bid to host the 2006 World Cup. According to Davies, "an individual well-connected in footballing circles" made the offer over the phone to Adam Crozier, then the [. Click to continue reading...

October 1, 2008

Steven Gerrard Scores His 100th Goal for Liverpool

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Steven Gerrard has just scored his 100th goal for Liverpool, late in their Champions League win over PSV Eindhoven, and it was a beauty, a blistering 30-yard free kick that somehow hit the top corner of the net after spending ninety percent of its flight path at roughly two and a half feet above the [. Click to continue reading...

The Tuesday Portrait: William Gallas

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I realize that this isn't the obvious word, but there's something ethereal about him. Arguing that he's "a smart, strong player with an unfortunate temperamental streak" misses the point completely, since there's every reason to think that his temperamental streak is also the raw fuel of his will. Click to continue reading...

September 30, 2008

Columbus 1 - O New England: Vandal-prone's Report

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Probably one of the top five differences between being in jail and not being in jail is that when you are in jail no one ever calls you on your cell phone with a complicated speech about mythological Japanese tsunami heroes and picking you up at the airport. And yet, when you are not in [...] Click to continue reading...

September 29, 2008

Columbus 1 - O New England: Brian's Report

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I woke up Friday morning with two thoughts already in my mind. First, Vandal-prone was supposed to cover the Crew-Revolution game that night. Second, Tropical Storm Kyle was expected to reach hurricane strength that afternoon and was bearing down on the New England coast. All morning I was haunted by the image of my MLS [. Click to continue reading...

People Resemble the Things They Despise

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1. Everton - Liverpool. And yet, no amount of having a soccer blog could keep me from writing email throughout this tedious chore of a match. 2. Espanyol - Barcelona. Madness, violence, confusion, controversy: this was the match of the season for every one of soccer's wicked shadow synonyms. After giving up a goal on a [. Click to continue reading...

September 26, 2008

How Beautiful It Was, When It Wasn't

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In honor of Andriy Shevchenko's upcoming reunion with Jose Mourinho in the Milan derby this weekend, I offer you this moving tribute to their time together at Chelsea. The text is a little hard to read, but it takes us through Sheva's dark early days at the club, then shows how his hard work, [. Click to continue reading...

Somewhere, a Divine White Bull Is Preparing to Rape the UEFA Cup

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The format of the UEFA Cup is something that makes sense to me only in the neighbor-of-my-brain way of certain advanced math concepts I "know what it is," but that doesn't mean I can "do" it. We said hello on the street a few times, but then it was like we both kind of mutually decided [. Click to continue reading...

WAGs or the Carling Cup: Which Is More Important to Football?

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I've written a guest post for EPL Talk today arguing that semi-nude photos of midfielders' girlfriends have now surpassed the Carling Cup as the third-most-important football institution in England. To my surprise, I noticed in the corner of the screen a thumbnail image of a woman so astonishingly curvaceous it was if she'd been formed from [. Click to continue reading...

September 25, 2008

UEFA Change the Format of the European Championship for Some Reason

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"Former German international [Franz] Beckenbauer is not a Uefa executive committee member but is a European Fifa executive member who sits in on the meetings as a non-voting observer." With these words, BBC Sport said approximately everything there is to say about the UEFA executive committee's decision, revealed today by football's favorite non-voting former German [. Click to continue reading...

September 24, 2008

Inside Michel Platini's Bizarre Arsene Wenger Fixation

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You'd think Arsene Wenger would be the sort of manager a bureaucrat would like. At Arsenal, he's been a model of steady competence, intelligent planning, and the refusal to spend £28 million on Juan-Sebastian Veron. A serious and somewhat downcast man, he's not necessarily beloved by the yeah, but innit, like set who drink heavily before [. Click to continue reading...
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