The Arsenal. Yummmmmmmm.

It's Chelsea v Jack's second most hated (you know who you are No. 1) at the Bridge on Sunday. This ish is about to go down, son!

Both clubs are in desperate need of a win. It's about as must-win as it can get, really. The Voyeur has soiled himself in recent weeks.

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Chelsea. Arsenal. Stamford Bridge.

Could this be the Blues' season-defining fixture? No doubt.

Coming off a string of less-than-impressive performances coupled with less-than-impressive results, Chelsea must I repeat must show its worth on Sunday against another club finding little to draw from at the moment, Arsene's Arsenal.

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Chelsea. Bordeaux. France. Champions League. Girls in electric yellow.

Shall I say anymore? Why yes, of course.

After that debacle over the weekend at home to Newcastle you know, the one where we did everything but score we need a decisive performance. If that's not enough, we're coming off that Roma display and thus need, not want, a win here.

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Hey, it's that time again! You know, time to slug the Magpies.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

OK, so Saturday's match with Newcastle at Stamford Bridge has all the makings of a trap game. The Pies have yet to win away from home this season. They've never defeated the Blues at the Bridge in the Prem.

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Chelsea are examining every way in which to cut costs at the club. And I mean, every way.

The latest rumor to surface is that the club may force players and staff to pay for meals at the Cobham cafeteria. Are you serious?

A spokesman even confirmed this nonsense with the Mirror: "Costs at the training ground are part of an ongoing review.

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You may have heard, Chelsea youngsta Michael Mancienne has been called into the England senior team for the Three Lions' friendly with Germany in Berlin on Wednesday. The 20-year-old, on loan at Wolverhampton, is seen here with current England and Chelsea captain John Terry during training.

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Drogbacite has been handed a three-match ban for his Robin Hood-like generosity against Burnley in the Carling Cup last week.

The big Ivorian with a small threshhold for pain chucked a coin into the Burnley fan section, in hopes of rewarding the poverty-stricken town with a bit of cash for the trip home.

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Didier Drogba has been hit with a three match ban for violent conduct. Nicolas Anelka is in the best form of his career. 
Should Dimitar Berbatov be universally dropped for the sulking Frenchman, or has the Anelka train passed its peak and is it now heading slowly but surely downhill towards the "inconsistent" form station? Click to continue reading...

West Brom at the Hawthorns, eh? I guess we should expect a six- or seven-goal barrage.

We soon shall see.

Coming off the grotesqueness of midweek a loss to Championship side Burnley at Stamford Bridge on penalty kicks we all should expect Chelsea to pursue an immediate response.

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Last time we won a penalty shootout? Guess.

A decade ago against Ipswich. Where? In the Carling Cup, of course.

So, Chelsea got its just desserts Wednesday, falling 5-4 in a penalty shootout to Championship side Burnley in the fourth round of the league cup. The Drogs had put the Blues ahead after 27 minutes, but a combination of wastefulness from Chels and endeavor from Burnley saw the Clarets level on 69 minutes.

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Thx to forum user sayen, I've discovered footbo, a "social network for football lovers worldwide." Now, this site is far from groundbreaking. However, it does have the unique platform of offering real player blogs.

Alex Song, former Blue Shaun Wright-Phillips, they're there. So, too, is the big German.

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It starts with a "B" and ends with a "ley."

Thank God it's not Barnsley.

Burnley entertains Chelsea in a Carling Cup fourth-round tie set for tomorrow night. The Clarets, currently a not-so-shabby fifth in the Championship, will be eyeing a shock knockout in front of a sellout home crowd.

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This week, Peter Kenyon sort of denied Chelsea is looking at building a new stadium in Battersea. But not really.

"We have always wanted to see if we could expand Stamford Bridge and until that's fully exhausted there are no immediate plans [to move] and in fact an immediate plan would be five or seven years away anyway," Kenyon told Sky Sports.

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Blackburn, prepare for a backlash of epic proportions. Chelsea, coming off an embarrassing performance in a
3-1 loss to Roma midweek, travel to Ewood Park to face Rovers today.

This match pits the league's best offense (Chelsea, with a plus-23 goal differential) versus the worst defense (Blackburn, minus-7).

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No, this question does not regard our loss in Rome in midweek nor does it revolve around our current problems in attack (just because we're scoring goals against midtable opposition mind you  doesn't mean there aren't problems).

This particular query pertains to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich.

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So Chelsea is really struggling up front. The newest of new rumors to somewhat resolve the problem is Michael Owen.

The Newcastle striker, out of contract at the end of the season, would supposedly be available for between £3-5 million. Owen, made of premium breakaway glass, has lost his place under Joe Kinnear mainly because of his injury-laden lifestyle.

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Tuesday may have been a terrible day for Chelsea FC. It was tragic for a young supporter.

A flock of Blues fans, on their way to the Stadio Olympico in Rome for Tuesday's Champions League tie against AS Roma, were caught in a torrential thunderstorm. A 13-year-old boy was killed when a tree in which he took shelter under was struck by lightning.

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It was a fab week for the Blues. Pair of wins, and back to the top of the league. Frankie Lampard stole the show, with his audacious chip against Hull City on the weekend. Peep it below.

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My bad for the lack of posts over the week. I've been slammed at work.

Anyway. Solid 3-0 win midweek against Hull. Time to begin another home unbeaten run let's go for a winning streak, here with a thorough slapping of Sunderland.

After a game back, Ricky Carvalho is out once again with a thigh injury.

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As one of my friends a Liverpool supporter no less put it: "Chelsea vs. Hull for runner-up honors this year...should be riveting."

Indeed. Hull City and Chelsea, level on points. In second. In the Premier League. Who would have thought it?

Regardless of the surprises, this will be an interesting fixture.

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"The players I have at the moment are good, but in the future I will look for more," Wise Scolari told Sky Sports. "I know the English players and I want more English players in my team. I want to win in England."

So, Uncle Phil says he wants more English talent. And the papers, in turn, reveal Chelsea are targeting Gareth Barry.

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Absolutely gutted but it ain't over. I must admit Liverpool was the better side, but Chelsea was absolutely dire today. Still months to go in this thing, though.

Watch Chelsea v Liverpool in News Online | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

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The morning can't come soon enough my friends. However, you can get your insults in early right here in the inaugural Chelsea Offside Rant Box. Chelsea Pies invented it, I'm stealing it and I expect you guys to use it.

So, break out your best "history" line Liverpool supporters.

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So Liverpool is joint top of the table on points with the mighty Chelsea. This is something new, eh?

The two rivals collide at Stamford Bridge this coming morning with something other than a Champions League final berth on the line for a change. While Chelsea is miles ahead already in goal differential (plus-16 to plus-7), this match presents quite a challenge for the world's best.

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One of our most esteemed readers, areallaticfromthesouth, got to this classic enounter before I could. And I thank him for the unearthing the video.

Back in '82 Chelsea was in the second division. Liverpool, well, they were European Champions. This FA Cup fifth-round tie, however, was all Blue.

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Germany coach Joachim Low is pissssssed at Michael Ballack. Ballack is pisssssssed at Low.

The shiteth had hiteth the fan.

Ballack, apparently fuming at the treatment of Germany senior players such as Torsten Frings, launched a scathing public attack on Loew earlier in the week. The German captain for how long?

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What better way to prepare for Sunday's top-of-the-table clash between Chelsea and Liverpool than to look back at some of the classic matches in this dynamic rivalry.

What better way to start than the comeback of all comebacks.

Thanks to goals from Robbie Fowler and Stan Collymore, Chelsea fell behind 2-0 within 20 minutes in this fourth round FA Cup tie on Jan.

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The Chelsea youngstas dropped a 4-3 decision to Southampton on Oct. 13. Jocopo Sala, Fank Nouble and Josh McEachran netted for the Blues.

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... and Chelsea never left.

Sorry for the delay in posts friends. I've been lacking creative inspiration, mainly because of my first and last trip to Cleveland. Man, that city sucks. It's depressing.

Anyway, let's get back to business.

Chelsea 5, Middlesbrough 0
Wow.

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I know, I know. After all that Didier Drogba has done as a Blue, a statement like that is damn near blasphemous.

But hear me out.

I want you to take a look at two Chelsea peformances this season: the 0-0 draw with CFR Cluj and the subsequent 2-0 win against Aston Villa.

Drogba started up front against Cluj, flanked by Florent Malouda on the left and Salomon Kalou to the right.

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Don Fabio announced his England international squad for the World Cup qualifiers against Kazakhstan and Belarus over the weekend.

Among the 23-man squad are four Chelsea players: defenders John Terry, Ashley Cole and Wayne Bridge as well as midfielder Frank Lampard. For some reason, there was no room for Joe Cole, fresh off scoring at the weekend against Aston Villa.

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Yesterday afternoon, during the second half of Chelsea's horrific display against CFR Cluj, Didier Drogba suffered what looked to be a season-ending knee injury. Key word: looked.

After a day of undergoing medical diagnosis, it appears as if the Ivorian maniac will in fact only miss a few weeks.

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