Brand Beckham

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October 2, 2008

Video: LA To Give it the Ol' College Try in Buckeye Land

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How cute. LA think they have a shot against the now-mighty Columbus Saturday at Crew Stadium. There a bunch of scrappy 'lil guys aren't they? Bless their little deluded hearts. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Bruce Arena, Columbus Crew, Los Angeles Galaxy, Pipe Dreams, Videos

September 25, 2008

The Thursday Night Hype: A Team Edition

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ESPN2 will be all Chi-town down tonight when the Galaxy comes to town to finally give us the Becks-Landon-Lewis vs. Blanco-McBride-Mapp match that we missed out on a few weeks back. Even though both teams haven't exactly been pissing excellence as of late (LA's result against D.C. aside) I'm more excited to watch this than any of the CONCACAF Champions League games/ass-whippings that were on this week. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Brian McBride, Chicago Fire, ESPN, Landycakes, Los Angeles Galaxy, The Hunchback of Bridgeview, becks, concacaf champions league, espn2, foreign names, heroes

September 19, 2008

Video: Becks on the Word "Persistence"

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Good thing you know the meaning of the word my dude; it's what you're going to need if you want to make the playoffs. or beat DC United tomorrow. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, DC United, Los Angeles Galaxy, Videos

August 27, 2008

Kickin' It With Al Hopkins: WTF Edition

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Allen Hopkins points out two things in this clip that really do make you think "WTF?". The first is how is LA not scoring of Becks corners? Is it that he's serving up weak-sauce, his teammates not knowing what to do with ass this good or have the league's other teams actually found a way to stop Goldenballs? Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Claudio Lopez, ESPN, Jimmy Conrad, Jimmy Conrad Has a Posse, Kansas City Wizards, Los Angeles Galaxy, Videos, allen hopkins

August 21, 2008

The Thursday Night Hype: B Team Edition

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I've been sitting on this photo since the last week of last season. That was that pivotal "winner makes the playoffs" match between LA & Chicago that was one of the high points of 2007. Just like a the final episode of Six Feet Under it had drama & closure and it left you wanting more. But due to the curse of FIFA dates, stadium availabilities etc. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , American soccer, Beijing, Brand Beckham, Buddle, Carlos Ruiz, Chicago Fire, Costa Rica, Curse, Donovan, ESPN, Eddie Lewis, Guatemala, Landycakes, Los Angeles Galaxy, The Hunchback of Bridgeview, pope, wcq

August 19, 2008

Broadway Becks Y'all

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David Beckham: The Musical! I know, you're as stoked as I am. If I were casting it I'd have Federline in the lead role for the American audience; I think he could really carry it off.



Not sure about who would play Victoria, Sir Alex or some of the other larger roles but I'm sure we could get Pete Vegenas to play himself. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, David Beckham, Freak Shows, Sir Alex, victoria

August 18, 2008

So Here's a Question...

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Take the poll

Free Poll by Blog Flux Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Los Angeles Galaxy, The English

August 7, 2008

LA Galaxy: Joseph McCarthy's Most Hated Team

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From ESPN The Mag's online sister site comes news that Victoria Beckham's blood is "red". As in descended-from-some-guy-who-was-running-buddies-with-Karl Marx "red". Jim Rome was right; it really is a communist sport! Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, ESPN, Jim Rome, Victoria Beckham

August 6, 2008

Video: Yet Another Becks Advert

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Why give it away when you can make them earn it? Damn kids today need a better work ethic anyway. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Adidas, Brand Beckham, Videos

August 4, 2008

1st Rule of MLS Fight Club: Don't Blog About It

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Check it out! It's the first shot released from the set of the new MLS-backed film, Fight Club 2: The Way of the Winger! In this sequel to the 90's classic Brad Pitt will go toe-to-toe with a new, English nemesis --portrayed by our David-- whom he will later learn from a la Apollo Creed in Rocky. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, denim, dodge, shopping, winger

July 31, 2008

Photo of the Day: Becks and His New Best Mate

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I heard a while back that our David was going to make an appearance on Sesame Street this season, but all I knew about it was that he was alleged to have beef with Oscar the Grouch. And now that I have seen a photo of him on-set I have more questions that I did before. Questions like, who's hairier, Becks or Elmo? Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Children Are Our Future, Elmo, Los Angeles Galaxy, Sesame Street, appearance, becks, photo

July 17, 2008

Becks Brings in the Money All 80's Televangelist Style

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Can he walk on water, no? But by some metrics he seems to have gotten pretty damn close to being able to turn MLS water into box wine. Which isn't all that bad so long as you don't try and compare it to Tuscan Chianti.

There's an article on Soccernet today about how even though this season Beckhamania is not at the Purple Rain Tour heights that it was last year, our David is still bringing the message to masses. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Beckhamania, Brand Beckham, Business, Los Angeles Galaxy, Major League Soccer

Video: Becks on Fox News Channel

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I would have sworn that the brass at this channel would still think that soccer is a communist sport for foreigners and would broadcast a gay wedding between a black dude and an illegal immigrant before they ever let the current MLS Jesus onto their airwaves. Crazy times. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Major League Soccer, Soccer, Videos, jesus

More Random ESPY's Coverage

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Somehow TOR has been turned into The Unofficial Soccer Blog of the ESPY Awards™ today. But when it's midweek and the Thursday night match is Columbus v. Kansas City you gotta do something to make it interesting. So this morning it's pic's of our Freddy on the red carpet at the ESPY's. No idea why he was there since he wasn't nominated for anything, but hey it's an excuse to go to parties with open bars and gift bags. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, ESPN, Flesh, The Biggest Midget in the Game, jt

ESPY Do's & Dont's With Becks & CR7

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This is how you do the ESPY's. You get your grown man on and show up looking fresh to death in a classy suit. You show up with your lady looking even classier. You win what you are nominated for.



This is how you don't do the ESPY's (or any other award show for that matter). Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo, ESPN, love

July 3, 2008

Becks Breath Said to be Funkier Than the Last Jamiroquai Tour

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Our David is finally paying the price for his "I'll endorse anything" brand of self-promotion. Accoring to the Star --one of the nation's deepest reads-- his fish oil gig has had some less than awesome side effects. All that catfish grease or whatever else is in these pills has given him a mouth like a chum-bucket. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Videos, underwear

June 30, 2008

Photo of the Day: Becks Balls Outta Contol in New Rolls Royce

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"I make big money, I drive big cars
Everybody know me
It's like I'm a movie star"

Willie D of the Geto Boys on 1991's "Mind Playing Tricks on Me"

Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Ballin' Outta Control, Brand Beckham, money

June 27, 2008

Some People Don't Like David Beckham

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I know. I'm shocked as you are. Presumably none of them purchase Sharpie Pens or Armani Underwear, and certainly wouldn't deign to purchase bottled water that emanated from Goldenballs. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Videos

June 26, 2008

Video: Becks on EXTRA

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I for one am shocked that it has taken a solid year for EXTRA to get their exclusive, one-on-one sit down with David Beckham. Terry Seymour, you're slipping. And you are obnoxious. Additionally your accent positively Dickensian and the huskiness of your voice implies that you smoke way too much. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, David Beckham, Videos

June 19, 2008

Video: Beckhamista's Show Up En Mass For Goldenballs

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A warning for those readers who are not attracted to men. This video features 6-story high naked man in his underwear. You may want to skip this post. As for the ladies and homosexualist, get an eyeful...it's rare that you see a Volkswagon-sized underwear bulge so take it in.

Now with all that aside, how crazy is the size of that crowd? Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, San Francisco, Videos, crowd, marker, unveiling

June 11, 2008

Video: Becks on Jimmy Kimmel Game Night

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Our David was on Jimmy Kimmel's prime time special last night, continuing his tour of America's most watched couches, love seats and plush chairs. What do we learn from his latest sit down? That he probably shouldn't be driving the kids or playing basketball with them if he can help it. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, LA Galaxy, Videos

June 10, 2008

Photo of the Day: Chris Klein Scares Children

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Who the hell needs bodyguards when you've got Chris Klein out there doing his best, most-intimidating Jurassic Park-style velociraptor impersonations? If any of you other kids are thinking about hugging David Beckham on the fly, remember this image. You could be next.

And as my comrades in blog over at The Original Winger point out, you could also be on TMZ --possibly the only folks on the planet to ever refer to Mr. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Chris Klein, David Beckham, Freak Shows, LA Galaxy, blog, winger

May 27, 2008

Photo of the Day: Anatomy of a Goal Scoring Celebration

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Since Saturday night/Sunday morning I have seen, heard about, or read a description of Beckham's fantastic longball wonder-goal about 63 times. My man Binks (the only person I know with HDnet) sent me a text message the second it happened. It was on Sportscenter. There are 23 different videos of it on Youtube and as many newspaper articles mentioning it. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, LA Galaxy

May 21, 2008

For Sale: Instant Automotive Baller Status

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If you're in the market for a brand-new, second-hand automobile may I suggest that you consider this Lamborghini Murcielago VT Coupe available at Autotrader.com. It was ordered by and custom made for David Beckham before he left Man U for Real Madrid but he opted out of purchasing it. It's a ride as sweet as his free kicks: powered by a 6. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Gear

May 19, 2008

On Villains and Awesomeness

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Villains are great for any league and this week offered a buffet of folks to hate. All of those people above were villains to somebody this week. And it was awesome. Except for referee Jair Maruffo, who was certainly not awesome since he ejected my team's best player on the field Saturday night (Dave van den Bergh) and coach (Juan Carlos Osorio) during his remarkably poor performance. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Columbus Crew, FC Dallas, LA Galaxy, Officiating, Red Bull New York, Toronto FC

May 14, 2008

TOR Ruud Gullit Photo Bounty

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Someone sent me this photo of the Jumbotron at Edmonton's Commonwealth Stadium from last night's Galaxy-Whitecaps match. If anyone has a photo of Ruud Gullit's mug up there I would be very appreciative....with the "Old Dutch" advert on the top of the screen it wouldn't even need a caption. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, LA Galaxy, coaches

May 13, 2008

LA Plays Some Non-TFC Canadians Tonight

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Hey y'all. If you happen to live in SoCal or frequent some of the dodgy Sopcast sites out there, you can watch LA's game tonight against Vancouver Whitecaps live from Edmonton, Alberta...that's in Canada. It's KWHY Channel 22 in LA, which is a Spanish channel.

So that's an American team, playing in Canada and available only on a Spanish-language channel. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Canuckistan, USL, Your Ginger Majesty

Ruud Gullit Needs to Lower His Expectations

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LA boss Ruud Gullit thinks that the Galaxy has a "lack of leadership." As the articles author Graham Jones points out, "the Galaxy's 2008 roster includes U.S. national team captain Landon Donovan, Guatemala national team captain Carlos Ruiz and former England national team captain David Beckham. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, LA Galaxy, Landycakes

May 12, 2008

Before TomKat Were HDC Regulars...

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Sorry for all the brief posts today; I'm at home on Daddy duty but I had to share this video though as it gave me a good laugh at 2 a.m. this morning as I couldn't sleep due to Anton Chigurh nightmares. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Celebrity Glory-Seekers, Videos

May 5, 2008

Can We Get a Write-In for Jacob Peterson for GOTW?

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If ever there was a case for a Goal of the Week write-in, Jacob Peterson's one-time screamer against DC United on Sunday is it. But alas there is no such option so the Super Delegate representing the State of New Jersey is voting for David Beckham "goal A" as this week's Goal of the Week (Goldenballs has 2 of the 5 nominated strikes). Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Colorado Rapids, DC United, Red Bull New York

May 1, 2008

Cash, Cars and Calcio

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Rich people read the Wall Street Journal. Wealthy people read Forbes. The only thing's they read with more frequency are champagne labels, and the Rolex logo on their wrist. Today those moneyed men & women are reading about soccer.

Forbes has put together a list of the world's richest footballers, the 20 most valuable clubs and a photo slide show of what they are driving. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Rich People

The Bucks for Becks™ Tour to Hit OZ Again in '08

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Admit it boys (and ladies who like other ladies). You'd go back to Australia as quick as you could too if this is how they greeted you the last time you were there. Consumed with the thought of picking up David's castoffs, Alan Gordan is packing his bags feverishly as we speak. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Hyundai A-League

April 28, 2008

Beckham: Beardy, Not as Gay as Before, Maybe Pregnant

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Here's the kinda hard thing about being David Beckham. He's an assist man --and a damn good one at that-- and since assists don't have the same highlight reel-appeal as goals, people (myself included) can easily get sidetracked into talking about everything but his game.

Take yesterday's Daily Mail for example where his new facial hair has called into question whether or not he has any association with the Taliban (no chance, he's too stylish for that life). Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham

April 24, 2008

Video: Becks Bending, Chatting, Stripping on Ellen

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Did you know that David Beckham was on Ellen today? With Goldenballs on the dancing lady's show, 60 Minutes, CNN and Leno in the last month in addition to being healthy enough to play well & score that this is how it was supposed to be. Hopefully he and Landon can either inspire some improvement in their teammates or get some help and make the post-season this year. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham, Celebrity Glory-Seekers, Flesh, LA Galaxy

April 21, 2008

Our David is a M*therf*cking P.I.M.P

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If someone could please hand this man a cane & a brimmed hat with a feather in it, it would be greatly appreciated; those are the crown and scepter or Chav royalty. Click to continue reading...
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Tags: , Brand Beckham
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