american notes

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November 19, 2008

Cries of Agony, Convulsions of Hope

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The New York Times has a piece this morning on the phenomenon of basketball players crying out as they shoot the ball in order to convince the referee that they've been fouled. According to the author and the players interviewed in the piece, the roar of pain is so effective at drawing foul calls that [. Click to continue reading...

November 13, 2008

What the Dust Mites Would Say, If They Could Only Speak

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Ourr kinngdom is strronng. All wwe ssee...all wwe ssurvvey...is ourrs. Ourrs! Ffrom the enndless, unnddulating pplains, to the mmighty and ppitiless wwhite mmounntains, wwhich onnly ourr unrremmittinng llabbors ccould have tamedd, ourr ddominnion is perrffect. Ourr humann skkinn farrms conntinue to pproduce pplentifful quanntities of swweet, nnurturrinng ddead skkin cells. Click to continue reading...

October 8, 2008

The FIFA World Rankings: A Global Return to Reason

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The new FIFA World Rankings are out, and I think they might be just what the world needs to take its mind off the fact that "money" is apparently no longer a good idea. Take America, for instance. Yesterday, this country was hurting. A man walking down the street wore the tight-mouthed, care-eaten look of [. Click to continue reading...

May 28, 2008

England 2 - 0 USA: Shut Up and Tread on Me

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Wait...what? Where am I? How long has the match been over? I watched the whole thing...I think; I know I turned it on in time for the national anthems at Wembley; only just now I sort of came back to myself and noticed that the TV was showing a commercial for discount mufflers. How long [...] Click to continue reading...

May 27, 2008

David Beckham’s Moderately Exciting 70-Yard Goal

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You've seen it already, I'm sure, but then, that's part of the point: David Beckham's 70-yard goal against Kansas City last Saturday night wasn't so much a moment in a soccer game as it was a discrete highlight clip, destined to be scrubbed of its situation and played out of context, endlessly. It aced the [. Click to continue reading...