1) Will Berbatov's ass be less fat and lazy against the Rovers?

Yes, I know that Berba had a brace against AAB, and both the goals were pretty and made me squeal with glee and clap like a small child... but not enough to curb my sinking feelings that Berba may be the fattest skinny person in the history of the world.

Matchday Two: Tuesday, September 30
Kickoff: 20:45 (2:45 PM EST)
Location: Energi Nord Arena, Aalborg, Denmark

United will look to get back to winning form in the Champions League against last year's Danish Superligaen champs. It also looks to be the 4,308th game that will see Anderson play well, and yet still fail to score.

The headlines wrote themselves this morning for all the wrong reasons. Rob Styles' itchy whistle finger contrived to invent a new type of offence for awarding a penalty of which he is yet to explain to the media.

It was pretty clear to everyone that it wasn't a penalty and Styles was spooked by the OT faithful and immediately blew.

Manchester United v Bolton Wanderers; Old Trafford, Saturday 27th September, 1500.

VdS returns against Bolton after a shaky start to the season with Kuszcak ruled out with a groin injury. There was always a chance United would name rookie keeper Ben Amos in the starting line up but it was felt that thinking man's neanderthal, Kevin Davies, and the aerial bombardment he will undoubtedly receive, would be too much of a fiery baptism.

Watching a streaming United game broadcast in Arabic is a very, very strange experience.
English is no big deal (unless it's coming from Tommy Smyth, then it's instantly muted). Spanish I can handle. But Arabic definitely through me for a loop.... hooray for streaming video right?

I listen to several different football podcasts and try to read as much about the beautiful game as possible (while trying not to get fired from my other job that actually pays me money). In the past few days I have noticed a disturbing trend in the coverage of Manchester United's newest player, Dimitar Berbatov.

Fergie is understandably very angry with Emanuel Pogatetz for his challenge on Rodrigo Possebon. However, the 19-year-old Brazilian midfielder, who was making his first United start, was taken to hospital, kept in overnight for observation but has now learned there is no break.

"It looked a really bad one.

Manchester United 1 - Middlesborough 1

Amos, Da Silva, Vidic, Brown, O'Shea, Nani, Possebon, Anderson, Giggs, Welbeck, Ronaldo
Subs from Zieler, Manucho, Gibson, Tevez, Cleverley, Gray, Eckersley

1st Half
Alves and Brown seem to be having quite a battle.

It appears that suspected drug dealer Richard Alex da Silva Martins 'Gigi' was arrested in the Porto Alegre home of United midfielder Anderson. While Anderson has been cleared of any wrongdoing, I can't help but feeling that the gods of fate won't look to kindly on anyone who associates with individuals whose character definition includes the words "notorious" and "drug dealer".

Manucho, the Angola striker named in the Africa Cup of Nations Best 11, could make his Manchester United debut tonight Carling Cup against Boro. I didn't know too much about him so, to save you faithful readers the trouble, I researched him and have to say I'm looking forward to seeing him have a run out.

"It's all too beautiful", the Small Faces reminded me on Sunday when Ji-Sung Park scored his 18th minute goal.

I've had a bit of a pop at him over the last few days and I'm not afraid to say that I loved Mr Park for a few minutes on Sunday. Just a few minutes, mind you. I still think he doesn't deserve a place in the starting line-up but he WILL win me round if he keeps scoring important goals.

But Park is starting. Swings and roundabouts.

Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Carvalho, Terry, Ashley Cole, Obi, Joe Cole, Deco Ballack, Lampard, Malouda, Anelka. Subs: Cudicini, Drogba, Ballack, Bridge, Kalou, Alex, Belletti.

Man Utd: Van der Sar, Neville, Ferdinand, Evans, Evra, Fletcher, Hargreaves, Scholes, Park, Berbatov, Rooney.

Because normal life isn't quite frustrating enough for me, a buddy and I spend 3-4 days a week coaching ten year olds in the fine art of how-not-to-fall-over-while-dribbling-a-ball (AKA – developmental youth soccer). Besides the occasional burst blood vessel and constant migraines, one of the more intriguing things to watch is the way that naturally talented players adapt to the game.

United's season continued to splutter along blinking and a little confused last night as they were held 0-0 by an organised and well drilled Villarreal side. United and Fergie can be happy with the way the game was played as the disappointing final balls were getting fewer and far between and chances were created as the game went on.

Hmm.

After his laughable flirtation with Real Madrid over the Summer, Ronaldo returned to the Old Trafford pitch today, to cheers and applause. Likely helped by the fact that we can't score to save our lives right now.

What a fickle bunch fans can be...